We're Only Trying To Live, by Monica's Last Prayer

We're Only Trying To Live

by Monica's Last Prayer

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Limited Edition Book + Digital Download (No CD) (DDD48P)
Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album
NOTE: This item is just the book, there is no CD. Unfortunately, Bandcamp doesn't provide the ability to link a 'Book' merch item to a digital album - so we had to use the 'Compact Disc' category to make sure you get a download and it counts as an album sale.

40 page perfect bound square format paperback book.
Includes lyrics, exclusive artwork and a foreword by Paul Devine.
Limited Edition first print edition of 25.
Includes A6 postcard with download code.

Printed on 135gsm uncoated recycled paper.
300gsm recycled silk card cover.
Dimensions: 148mm x 148mm x 4mm

Includes unlimited streaming of We're Only Trying To Live via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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Limited Edition Book + Digital Download (No CD) (DDD48P) (Second Printing)
Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album
NOTE: This item is just the book, there is no CD. Unfortunately, Bandcamp doesn't provide the ability to link a 'Book' merch item to a digital album - so we had to use the 'Compact Disc' category to make sure you get a download and it counts as an album sale.

40 page perfect bound square format paperback book.
Includes lyrics, exclusive artwork and a foreword by Paul Devine.
Second print edition of 25.
Includes A6 postcard with download code.

Printed on 135gsm uncoated recycled paper.
300gsm recycled silk card cover.
Dimensions: 148mm x 148mm x 4mm

Includes unlimited streaming of We're Only Trying To Live via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

Sold Out

1.	Undertaking 01:50		buy track
2.	The Surface and the Apogee 04:55	lyrics	buy track
There’s a door that won’t open On the very top of the world A dislocated function That needs to be relearned Sink fast! Sink fast in the blanket she left you Pull it up to your chin Grab hold of the last of your sense The ceremony is about to begin You can measure an impact By the crater it leaves And the one that she left in the wilds to the west Must be seen to be believed Live fast! Run faster to avoid confrontation Keep your feet on the ground We’ve been burning for years now We’ve been pulling it down Fly high, fly closer Between the surface and the apogee Your skin is on fire Sense of the choir You see the state I’m in
3.	Ground Under 04:15	lyrics	buy track
I dreamed about a girl I dreamed I met my maker She danced around the world She circled the equator The oceans lapped around The shoreline of her passion The moon and tides were bound To her whims and to her fashions There is magic to be found In the dark forgotten ground Buried deep, and locked up sound It’s the miracle you’re bound to conjure So when I fall asleep I try to conjure her impression And when I dream I dream with a conviction There is magic to be found In the dark forgotten towns In the streets and all around It’s the everyday you’re ground down under
4.	Sunk 04:46	lyrics	buy track
Consider the plight, Consider the message You’ve got one last chance and it’s not going to get any better Consider the youth, Extinguish the clatter Sunk your last ship on a whim but the urge is still massive The scene can live without you The scene demands you die The scene can live without you Measured up and codified It rose in the East, It fell in your garden Just one loose stitch was enough to elicit the pardon A hum in the wires, The buzz in the country Can’t hide in the fields with your scent when the hunter is hungry The valleys and the moors The mountains and the broads There is no place to hide Their misplaced civic pride Day to night Something is enough Time goes by Second city love Measure up Something is enough You can love Anything you touch Stuck in the turnstile, Grinding my gears Lost your last chance in a straw house, been burning for years Consider the Earth, Consider the minnows You can’t crawl back under the rock ‘til you’ve fixed all the windows The red, white and the blue The dullards with no clue The little ball of noise Labelling the girls and boys
5.	Confusion 03:25	lyrics	buy track
Stay alert… pay attention There’s a lesson to learn I’ve lost… all direction Between the path and the kerb All the tricks… all the secrets It took a lifetime to learn Blown apart… in an instant Between a twist and a turn Spun around in a room of confusion Spun around in an acid flash The sights, the sounds The ups and downs You never get them back My skin… is elastic Better lock the door Watch it creep… feeling frantic I’m never touching the floor Lines drawn… things are hazy Don’t know whose side I’m on Too sane… to be crazy Perhaps it’s just the way I was born Spun around in a room of confusion Spun around in an acid flash The sights, the sounds The ups and downs You never get them back
6.	Just Because 03:47	lyrics	buy track
I’m going backwards I’m going grey My friends are checking out But I decided to stay I have to wait now For the twist that I hope will come But ask me honestly why …Just because I took the wrong directions I took the bait Didn’t mind that the bridge was burning It was part of the game I took the high road And it led to the mountain top But ask me humbly why …Just because You’re at the crossroads With the smile of an innocent child This can only go one way You’re losing heart now That the streets aren’t paved with gold There’s mud on your boots The smile grows cold I’m going backwards I’m going grey My friends are checking out But I decided to stay I have to wait now For the twist that I hope will come But ask me honestly why …Just because
7.	These Conditions 04:00	lyrics	buy track
All the best ones have pieces missing Your perfection won’t fly All the best stars have pieces missing Missed events in a bigger sky Go to the core, go to the centre The sound mirror and the blackout blinds On the front line, and in the factory They’re missing pieces and they’re losing time We’re only trying to live! No respect for these conditions No concern and no relief The machine keeps pounding, donkey braying For one politician and his privilege Took a piece, to make a killing Trenches gouged and buildings fell Read the file on the latest villain Read the file and the tale that they want to tell We’re only trying to live!
8.	Critical Mass 03:57	lyrics	buy track
Wake up in a city of dust Shake off the dreams and the wanderlust You’re on the path to a brand new dawn But you’ll never reach heaven if you never fall Horizon glistening The sun is blistering They hide in shadows while you claim the light The dawn’s path, critical mass You’re gaining traction for the coming fight The day, the night The call to fight The severance deal of oblivion Critical mass and the world beyond You fought (your way) to the top of the hill Take stock, there’s always time to feel the thrill You’ve come a long way from your past And no matter who asks you’re never going back Your eyes are glistening The angels listening The wings beat all around your skull The next step, the last one left The laughter and the love of a life lived full The returns on investment don’t compute There is no system breach The box cannot be filled Or a judgement reached The day, the night The call to fight The severance deal of oblivion Critical mass and the world beyond
9.	So This is How it Ends? 05:19	lyrics	buy track
So this is how it ends? So this is what it’s come to The dignity of friends The battles that we’ve run through The sanctity of tears All dried upon the pillow The total of our fears The brow that won’t unfurrow So this is how it ends? The two of us together The logic never bends The totals never alter The distance I can’t see You seem to be within me We share a common space The words remain unspoken In the end, love is all, love is true Tensions fall on the floor of this room You are all, I confirm, I confess Take my hand, in the end, I am blessed So this is how it ends? The sunset in the distance A chance to comprehend The familiar and the different The measuring of time The weighing up of memory A special kind of life Is playing now within me In the end, love is all, love is true Tensions fall on the floor of this room You are all, I confirm, I confess Take my hand, ‘til the end, I am blessed
10.	The Gift 04:43	lyrics	buy track
Deep-filled fascination With an unexploded bomb Single violation Never given what she wants Lying veil of mystics Pointing out the way Given all the precedents It’s no surprise she took the bait Understand the motive Anticipate the course Systems overloaded Never function without force The majesty of intrigue The orchestra of fears Played the game and bent the rules Another option disappeared Tied down, ever down The gift you give, the gift you give Try, try, never cry The gift you give, the gift you give Still life with emotion No escaping what she’s done Shackled by devotion Trapped by protocol Scraping at the surface No deeper than the skin Six miles down below the rock You’ll never find the truth of him All the skies are broken All the dreams are sold Nothing much to hope for Nothing much to hold Absence breeds resentment Sickness eats itself Without some substance filling it Self collapses into self Tied down, ever down The gift you give, the gift you give Try, try, never cry The gift you give, the gift you give Take pride in the high The gift you give, the gift you give Come down to the ground The gift you give, the gift you give

about

A lot of the ideas and situations covered by the songs on this album have their roots in conversations I had with my friend Antony many, many years ago. We had one particular talk about the lack of concept albums from post-punk and gothic bands specifically. The idea of the genre perfectly suiting some kind of dystopian back story about a lonely vampire, who has a higher moral state than the world around them, emerged. As with most album concepts, I have strayed from the brief at times -- but the bones of this record capture that story.

Sorry it took me so long to get around to it. -- PB

Dedicated to Dr. Antony Weir (1971-2023).

credits

released March 31, 2023

Written, Recorded, Mixed and Mastered by Paul Broome
February to March 2023, in The Back Room, Staffordshire, U.K.

Released under exclusive licence to DIE DAS DER.

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about

Monica's Last Prayer UK

One-goth side project of Paul Broome (Earth Calling Angela / Fauxchisels). Founded in 1993 with a 4 track tape deck and a DR550. Covers a lot of stylistic ground. Coming back for more in 2023.

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